You know what I don’t like? Black men that don’t like black women. For clarification, I’m not talking about black guys that are involved in interracial relationships. I’m talking about the black guys involved in interracial relationships and bash black girls. Since we attend a PWI (Predominately White Institution), there isn’t a large population of black women, and there is a wider “variety” of other races to pick from, white girls in particular. And it’s fine to have a personal preference, but some men take it way too far. For instance, when I walked into my English class on Tuesday last week, I overheard a young man tell his friend, “I hate black girls. I could never date one.” I’d heard statements like this before in high school, on campus, and all over social media, so I wasn’t surprised, just disappointed.
My first thought was...How do you hate black women? How do you formulate a statement like “I hate black girls” as if a black girl's body didn’t bend and rearrange itself for your ass to be born? Your grandmother is a black girl, your favorite aunt is a black girl, you’re telling me you hate them? Initially, I wasn’t going to say anything. I’d planned to just ignore him and go about my day. But curiosity got the best of me, so I asked, “What is it about black girls that you hate?” Before I knew it, he gave me a whole list of reasons. “Well for starters, black girls are too difficult. They always have an attitude…… bad hair and just aren’t attractive; white girls are winning.” Then he goes on to tell me about all the “beautiful white women of the world”, such as Angelina Jolie, Kim Kardashian, and Iggy Azalea. I found it interesting that he found these women attractive due to the fact that some of them have the (artificial) physical attributes of many black women ( i.e. Jolie's full lips and Iggy's big butt). Especially women like Kim Kardashian who have literally altered their bodies to be curvier to emulate the black woman’s body. When I mentioned this to him, he maintained his view that black women are not attractive. Before we could go any further, class began and our conversation was over.
Now obviously, all black men do not feel this way about black women but I’d be lying if I said I haven’t heard this from many black guys before. This mentality is destructive to the black community. How can we expect to progress as a community, if there are some men that have so much disdain for their own women? What’s even more troubling is the fact that some black men truly don’t understand how damaging statements like this are. To imply that white girls are more desirable because they aren’t “difficult” is telling young black girls they shouldn’t voice their opinions or speak up for themselves or else they will be seen as “having too much attitude.” Black women didn’t have too much attitude when they started the Black Lives Matter Movement in an effort to defend and protect our men, now did they? Yet as soon as a black woman has high expectations and holds black men accountable for their actions, they are perceived as doing the most and having too much attitude? Telling black girls that their hair is somehow “bad”, creates a generation of young black women that hate the natural curls spiraling out of their head, and use weave to feel like they have “good hair.” To go as far as to say black girls aren’t attractive is just pure ignorance, like your mom ain’t a black girl, like your sister ain’t a black girl like your daughter won’t be a black girl. How would you feel if someone told you they were unattractive? And the whole “white girls are winning” comment is truly hilarious, suggesting that there is some sort of competition between black and white girls.
As a result of this conversation, and many others, I’ve come to this conclusion: black men who hate black women hate themselves. You cannot value a creation and not appreciate the creator. It is too illogical for a black man to look in the mirror and love what he sees, while simultaneously hating the black woman that made him. And if that isn’t destructive, I don’t know what is.